he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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