things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
