I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
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