Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
