My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
