Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Randomize
