Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
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