I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
