whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Randomize
