you're like a bully in the Christmas story
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Randomize