We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
