It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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