The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
The feeling are messing with the penis
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
