I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Randomize
