At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Randomize
