know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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