that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Send help, water and tortillas.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Randomize
