well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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