I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Randomize
