escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize
