Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
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