with your own penis?
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
