return my video game
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Well I just put wine in my tea
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
