do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
Randomize
