New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Randomize
