how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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