you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize