Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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