He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
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