im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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