You're so nebulous sometimes
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
