Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
