Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Randomize
