I want to make a zoo with you.
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
