I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
