If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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