did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Randomize
