so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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