You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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