I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I touched a dick in church today
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
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