ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
