I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
