so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
