that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I can't put those talents on a resume
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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