I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
