I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
