just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
