sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
