she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
