Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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