Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
