he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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