...so i touched it.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
he quoted the bible to break up with me
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
