Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Randomize
