she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
