have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Randomize
