Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Randomize
