i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Randomize
