you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
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