You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
