some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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