yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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