he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize