3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
