We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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