You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
She's JV to your varsity
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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