so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Randomize
