Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
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