I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize