I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize
