I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
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