At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Randomize
