eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
im having a threesome with these popsicles
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize