I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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