i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
