Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I am spending my child support on dildos
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
