are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
