Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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