Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
I can tuck mytits in my pants
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
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