i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
my being single is dangerous.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
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